I mean your paragraphs don't compliment each other.

In other words, your next paragraph don't start from where the previous paragraph ended. There should be a logical connection between paragraphs, At least in the beginning of the essay.

The reason for this shortcoming is simple... You're building your paragraphs around examples not arguments.
Let me repeat it, you're using examples not arguments, thats why this essay lack articulation and coherence.

By the way, this is a difficult topic, thats why this issue is confronting everyone. Nothing to worry about.

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thank you very much safeer for your valuable suggestion, I will go over the examples vs arguments issue now because I didn't ponder over it earlier.

Very good for your first attempt. You need a lot of practice. Your ideas are relevant, but a little bit of logical connection in an idea, as well as between ideas, is required. Keep posting.



You have explained the lemons of the society but not the way to make lemonade out of them. Even if you talk about it in the middle of your essay of in between paragraphs, your outline must reflect it in some of its points. This key aspect is missing in your outline. [/QUOTE]


Thank you so much for Guidance @bonaparte and @ambavilant. I am solely using this forum for guidance as I don't have time for joining any academy nor do I have any English teacher in contact. Therefore, these criticism and suggestions are very valuable for me. Thank you once again to both of you.

I am posting updated outline along with introduction, Please members, Check.

Outline
1. Introduction
2. Lemons of life for individuals and their struggle to make lemonade
2.1. Set back in relations and realization of true nature of people
2.2. Set back in Careers and great achievements afterward
2.2.1.1. Quid-e-Azam-no single case to winning of case for Pakistan
2.2.1.2. Nelson Mandela- 27 years in jail to president of South Africa
2.2.1.3. Steve Jobs – Expelled from own company to greatest inventor of 20th century
2.2.1.4. J.K Rolling – from footpath to Billion dollar club membership
2.2.1.5. Opera Winfrey – from streets facing racial discrimination to most successful talk show
3. Lemons of life for Society and Resultant rise of Greatest Societies
3.1. Natural Calamities and disasters- rise of Empires from Ashes
3.2. Wars
3.2.1.1. Civil War of America and formation of Confederation of America
3.2.1.2. French 30 years’ war and
3.2.1.3. WW 1 and Turkey – Rise of Modern Turkey
3.2.1.4. WW 1 and Germany – Rise of Nazi Germany
3.2.1.5. Atomic attack on Japan – Rise of Technologically advanced Japan
4. Muslim World- Lemons of life – Opportunity to make lemonade
4.1. Islamophobia in the west and greater publicity – An opportunity to publicise positive image
5. Pakistan and lemons of life
5.1. Creation of Bangladesh – 1971 Constitution and greater unity and focus
5.2. Sectarianism – Opportunity to present example of melting pot of all sect of Islam
5.3. Hostile neighborhood – One of most powerful army in the world
5.4. APS Attack – Unity against terrorism – Operation Zarb-e-Azb
6. Conclusion

Success is to be measured by not so much by the position that one reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. (Booker T. Washington)
Life is a challenge as well as blessing. It throws at us lemons so we can taste the sweetness of lemonade. It is up to us whether we just sit idle and allow ourselves to be drowned into the ocean of lemons or buckle up ourselves, fight back, use these lemons and make lemonade. Every day we see hundreds of examples around us like racism, inequality, social discrimination, biased hatred. Some accept that as fate and do nothing, others stand up and fight back. It is about attitude towards life. It is about way of thinking towards one own self. Our whole history is teem with examples where whole society became bereft of mobilization, still and buried under the pile of lemons, that were actually thrown at them to bless them with the sweetness of lemonade. However, then, from among them, one deny to be like them. He resisted, rose up from that pile and paves way for others to follow him thereby getting the secret of those lemons and recipe of making lemonade. Then life became benevolent for him. Therefore, the rule to succeed in life is very simple: be optimistic. Try to capture every opportunity presented by life in form and make the best of it. Where others fails to acknowledge the power of thinking out of the box, step forward and set example. Life will never stop throwing lemons at us, we have to decide whether to be like failed society or be a hero.

Thank you so much for Guidance @bonaparte and @ambavilant. I am solely using this forum for guidance as I don't have time for joining any academy nor do I have any English teacher in contact. Therefore, these criticism and suggestions are very valuable for me. Thank you once again to both of you.

I am posting updated outline along with introduction, Please members, Check.

Outline
1. Introduction
2. Lemons of life for individuals and their struggle to make lemonade
2.1. Set back in relations and realization of true nature of people
2.2. Set back in Careers and great achievements afterward
2.2.1.1. Quid-e-Azam-no single case to winning of case for Pakistan
2.2.1.2. Nelson Mandela- 27 years in jail to president of South Africa
2.2.1.3. Steve Jobs – Expelled from own company to greatest inventor of 20th century
2.2.1.4. J.K Rolling – from footpath to Billion dollar club membership
2.2.1.5. Opera Winfrey – from streets facing racial discrimination to most successful talk show
3. Lemons of life for Society and Resultant rise of Greatest Societies
3.1. Natural Calamities and disasters- rise of Empires from Ashes
3.2. Wars
3.2.1.1. Civil War of America and formation of Confederation of America
3.2.1.2. French 30 years’ war and
3.2.1.3. WW 1 and Turkey – Rise of Modern Turkey
3.2.1.4. WW 1 and Germany – Rise of Nazi Germany
3.2.1.5. Atomic attack on Japan – Rise of Technologically advanced Japan
4. Muslim World- Lemons of life – Opportunity to make lemonade
4.1. Islamophobia in the west and greater publicity – An opportunity to publicise positive image
5. Pakistan and lemons of life
5.1. Creation of Bangladesh – 1971 Constitution and greater unity and focus
5.2. Sectarianism – Opportunity to present example of melting pot of all sect of Islam
5.3. Hostile neighborhood – One of most powerful army in the world
5.4. APS Attack – Unity against terrorism – Operation Zarb-e-Azb
6. Conclusion

Success is to be measured by not so much by the position that one reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. (Booker T. Washington)
Life is a challenge as well as blessing. It throws at us lemons so we can taste the sweetness of lemonade. It is up to us whether we just sit idle and allow ourselves to be drowned into the ocean of lemons or buckle up ourselves, fight back, use these lemons and make lemonade. Every day we see hundreds of examples around us like racism, inequality, social discrimination, biased hatred. Some accept that as fate and do nothing, others stand up and fight back. It is about attitude towards life. It is about way of thinking towards one own self. Our whole history is teem with examples where whole society became bereft of mobilization, still and buried under the pile of lemons, that were actually thrown at them to bless them with the sweetness of lemonade. However, then, from among them, one deny to be like them. He resisted, rose up from that pile and paves way for others to follow him thereby getting the secret of those lemons and recipe of making lemonade. Then life became benevolent for him. Therefore, the rule to succeed in life is very simple: be optimistic. Try to capture every opportunity presented by life in form and make the best of it. Where others fails to acknowledge the power of thinking out of the box, step forward and set example. Life will never stop throwing lemons at us, we have to decide whether to be like failed society or be a hero.[/QUOTE]



I must say it is a very good attempt and wonderfully managed. There are some loopholes though, but overall nice effort. Keep practicing as you are getting on track now.

I must say it is a very good attempt and wonderfully managed. There are some loopholes though, but overall nice effort. Keep practicing as you are getting on track now.[/QUOTE]
Please point out those loopholes......

what is the next topic friends! democracy is a culture rather than a process, or Democracy a success or failure in Pakistan. choose and write your outline today. we are missing you ambivalent. is everything ok? where are you?

I am writing on this topic: Democracy without accountability is a lame.

"Democracy is a culture rather than a process" is too difficult a topic.

"Democracy a success or failure in Pakistan" is too easy a topic.

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__________________
One must be a wise reader to quote wisely and well; said Bronson Alcott

Waqarabbasi, before starting new topic, will you please comment on my outline for current topic.....

your outline shows your good comprehension, you used flowery language but did not add some of your points from outline in the introduction, add them. your outline contains a variety of good ideas, but do not write your outline in common words or simple sentences. use attractive words and beautiful ideas to make it good. overall, a very good attempt.

I am posting this essay, although not the decided topic but as I completed it today I decided to post. please, analyse and evaluate it; I will post the democracy-related topic within 2 days inshAllah.


Are we ready for a genie age?



Introduction

Adaptability to technology and digital revolution is essential for human progress

1. Humans must adapt to evolution in socio-cultural life
2. Advancement of human intelligence to tackle the complexity and diversity created by genie age.


A. Genie age brings far-reaching consequences for humans

1. Replacement of human intelligence in offices, hospitals and education institutes.
2. Mass unemployment for millions of people.
3. New fields of employment and changed methods for making a living.
4. Improved systems of espionage and access to secret data anywhere in the world.
5. It broadens the base of services and tertiary economic sectors.

B. Genie age revolutionizes the nature of international relation


1. Improved digital and communication technology enhances connectivity in international relations
2. Enhanced connectivity results in the greater desire for world dominance and economic prosperity.
3. The availability of sophisticated technology makes it difficult for a single nation or block to dominate the world.

C. Are humans ready to adapt to changed nature of international relations?


1. Human’s ability to manage the imbalance power among nations.
2. Availability of sophisticated weapons and humanity’s level of success in averting hot confrontations.
3. Mankind’s readiness to tolerate differences to live in a much-connected world.


D. Is human intelligence ready to progress with the challenges presented by genie revolution?


1. Essential skills for working with artificial intelligence of machines.
2. Creation of jobs as a substitute to manual and industrial jobs.
3. Measures to tackle problems emanating from threats to privacy of individuals and nation
4. Readiness of human intelligence to use artificial intelligence as a servant not as a master.


E. Are humans trained to deal social effects of genie revolution?

1. Education in the digital age and humans’ adaptability.
2. Social contacts on the social forums; changed identities, emotional exploitation and how it affects social integration?
3. Mechanized nature of life resulting in indifference and world’s tools to fight it.


F. Adoptability to genie revolution is slow; the power of machines and artificial intelligence is confronting humanity instead of serving it.

Conclusion
The pace and nature of genie revolution is threatening the social fabric and cultural fabric. Humans are not yet ready to deal with the challenges created by genie revolution.