Teacher: bacho wada akro kabhi sharab , cigrette nahi piyo gey.
Bachey: nahi piyen gey.
Teacher: gals ka peecha nahi akro gey, na he gals ko chero gey.
Bachey: nahi karengey.
Teacher: kabhi flirt nahi karo gey, aur unhen taaro gey bhi nahi.
Bachey : nahi karen gey.
Teacher: un per awazen bhi nahi kaso gey.
Bachey: nahi kasein gey.
Teacher: Aur is watan per zindagi qurbaan karo gey.
Bachey: ker den gey................! Aisee zindagi ka ur ka aur kerna bhi kia hai???

Gabber: Kitne Aadmi they. Sambha: Sardar Do, Gabber: Mujhe ginti nahi aati. Do kitne hotey hain? Sambha: Sardar Do Ek ke baad aata hai. Gabber: Aur Do ke pehle? Sambha: Do ke pehle Ek aata hai. Gabber: To beech mein kaun aata hai? Sambha: Beech mein koi nahi aata. Gabber: To fir Dono ek saath kyon nahi atey? Sambha: Do Ek ke baad hi aa sakta hai, kyonki Do ek se bada hai. Gabber: Do ek se bada hai? Kitna bada hai? Sambha Do ek se Ek bada hai? Gabber: Agar Do ek se ek bada hai to ek ek se kitna bada hai? Sambha: Sardar, Maine tumhara namak khaya hai, mujhe goli mar do.

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Some students were talking about simple question they put to certain professionals. “What’s two and two?” they asked a statistician. He fiddled with his calculator replying, “I estimate it to be 3.999 recurring.” “What’s three and three?” they asked a doctor. He thought briefly and flicked through his reference material. I think its six, he said, “but I recommend u obtain a second opinion. “What’s four plus four?” they asked an accountant. He furrowed his brow, stared into space and then leaned forward and said, “What do u want it to be”.

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Queen Elizabeth, Bush and Wajpaidied and all went to hell. Queen Elizabeth said: I miss England, I wanna call England and see how everybody is doing there.... so she called and talked for about 5 minutes... Then she said: well devil, how much do I owe you???? The devil says: five million dollars... Five million dollars!!!???? She made him a check and went to sit back on her chair.... Bush was soo jealous, he starts screaming, me too, me too, I wanna call the United states, I wanna see how everybody is doing too...he called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he said: Well devil how much do I owe you???? The devil says: ten million dollars..... ten million dollars!!!!!! He made him a check and went to sit back on his chair..... Wajpai was extremely jealous too...he starts screaming and screaming... "I wanna call Iindia! I want to see how everybody is doing there too, I want to talk to the ministers, to the deputee, I wanna talk to everybody"... he called India and he talked for about twenty hours, he was talking and talking and talking. Then he said: well, devil, how much do I owe you???? The devil says: one dollar..... only one dollar!!!!! Wajpai scream... ONLY ONE DOLLAR?????? The devil says: well, from hell to hell it's local call!
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government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out. So he rubbed the lamp and out popped a genie. The genie asked, as genies will, "What is your first wish?" The government worker thought about it for a second, then replied, "I would like to be rich!" So the genie granted him his wish, and poof the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates. Since the government worker knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, "My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!" And poof, he was there. Then the government worker decided on his third wish, "I don't want to do any work ever again!" and poof -- ubiquitous ironic twist -- he was back in his office.
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Sardar on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says," break nahi mar satha kya? Sardar replies "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di.
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Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt
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A Sirdar Ge built a new house. he invited his near and dear ones to see it. after showing them rounds he said 'there is a swimming pool of hot water, because at time i want to take hot bath'. then he showed them another pool with cold water and said, at times i feel like having a cold bath. a little further, there was an empty pool. a friend asked what was that for. the sirdar answered,' at times, i feel like having no bath'.

__________________
ஜ иστнιπg ιš ιмթΘรรιвlε тσ α ωιℓℓιиg нєαят ஜ

1st sardar on fone:- is it one one one one.
2nd sardar :- No,its eleven eleven.
1st sardar:- r u sure its not one one one one.
2nd sardar:- han g am sure its eleven eleven.
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1st person:- ajj kel log bat kerte waqt english bohot istamal keret hain.
2nd person:- acha.........i don't know.
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A frnd to other :- was the ending of that movie pleasant?
otherone answering :- very much...everyone was pleasant when it ended.

__________________
i dont want merely to possess a faith,i want a faith that possesses me.

Ek adami jis ko punjabi nahi ati thee kahein gaya aur ab us ko road ka poochna tha to baat yun huey

Bhai sahib ye road shahr ko jata he?
un ka jawab tha Aaho
un ko samajh na aayi
Ab unho ne ek aur shakhs se yehi sawal poocha
Bhai sahib ye road shahr ko jata he?
jawab mila aaho
ab unho ne teesre raahgeer se pooch to us ka jawab tha
jee haan
unho ne confusion door krne k liye poocha k pehle do logon ne aaho kaha he to is ka kia matlab
To us ne kaha k jo parhe likhey log hein wo jee haan kehte hein aur unparh usi ko aaho kehte hein
Unho ne kaha tum parhey likhey ho?
jawab mila AAHO
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A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says:

"The parrot on the left costs 500 dollars".

"Why, does the parrot cost so much" asks the first man.

The owner says, "Well the parrot knows how to use a computer".

The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system.

Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot to be told that it costs 2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the question

"What can it do?"

To which the owner replies "To be honest, I have never seen it do a thing but the other two call him boss!".

__________________
Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend

Usama asked Kajol,how iss ur life?

She replied, kabhi khushi kabhi ghum.

Then Kajol asked Usama, what abt U?

He replied, kabhi BUSH kabhi BOMB

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Taxi Driver ( Musafir se ) : " Bhai Sahab ! mein meter start kerna bhool gaya hoon isiliye samajh nahi aaraha kr aap se kitney paisay loon ? "

Musafir : " pareshani ki koi baat nahi mein bhi apna Wallet ghar bhool aaya hoon ".....
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Wife: Mein jab gaana gaati hoon
toh aap balcony mein kyon chale jate ho?

Husband: Takeh kahin muhalle wale aisa na samjhe
ki mein tumara gala daba raha hoon
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Naukrani: Malkin aap udaas kyon hain?

Malkin: Tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyaar karte hai.

Naukrani: Nahin, sahab mujhe dhokha nahin de sakte
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Girlarling Hum Kahan Jaa Rahe Hain???

Boyarling Hum Ek Long Drive Par Jaa Rahe Hain....

GirlNakhra) Pehle Kyon Nahi Bataya????

Boy:Mujhe Bhi Abhi Pata Chala Jab Car Ke Brakes Fail Huye........
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Bechelor is like airtel- Aise azadi aur kahan.

After married reliance- Apni duniya biwi ki mutthi me.

After child hutch- Wherever u go network follows.
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FATHER TO SON : PADOS KI LADKI KO DEKH VOH EXAM ME FIRTS AAYI HAI.

SON : USKO HI DEKHATO REHTA THA TABHI TO FAIL HO GAYA..
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Angry Pagal : Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga, mita dunga, mita dunga.

Dusra Pagal standing besides said “mein tujhe rubber nahi dunga”.
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Abhishek Bachchan: I_can_act_too@yuva.com

Amitabh Bachchan: accept_any_role@after.kaunbanegacrorepati.tv

Anil Kapoor: expert@copyingsouthindianmovies.com

Salman Khan: why_do_I_always_get_into_trouble@needagirlfriend.c om

Shah Rukh Khan: over_emotions@mostmovies.com


Ram Gopal Varma: same_formula@bombayunderworld.co.in

Sunil Shetty: hoping_to_be@indianarnold.com

Aamir Khan: whats_up_with_the_hairstyle@mangalpande.com

Aamir Khan (alternate address): married_or_not@toomanyaffairs.com

Saif Ali Khan: goofy_roles@suitsmeperfect.com

Hritik Roshan: main_aisa_kyon_hoon@howtheheckdoweknow.com

Hritik Roshan (alternate address): main_aisa_kyon_hoon@askyourdad.com

Ajay Devgan: finally_I_started_to_act@aftersomanyyears.com

Bobby Deol: no_one_thinks_I_can_act@getanotherjob.com

Sunny Deol: He is still busy fighting Pakistani soldiers. Mail address is a secret.

Urmila: ramgopalvarma_has_forgotten_me@nomorerangeela.com

Mallika Sherawat: I_dont_need_to_act@overexposureworks.com

Amisha Patel: Kaho_na_pyaar_hai@wasmyonlyhit.com

Kareena Kapoor: oh_i_am_so_cute_and_talented@nobodyelsethinksso.co m

Raveena Tandon: waiting_for_third_umpire@stumped.com

__________________
ஜ иστнιπg ιš ιмթΘรรιвlε тσ α ωιℓℓιиg нєαят ஜ

Woman at 18 is like FOOTBALL 22 men after her.
at 28 like Basketball 10 men after her.
at 38 like Golf Ball 1 man after her.
at 48 like tennis ball one man pushing it to the other.
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A Chinese Couple accidently had twins..........
Guess wat they named them...........?

Jou Hua,....Sou Hua
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Yeh Payar bhee na ajeeb cheez hay

MAA say ho tau Ibaadat

BAAP say ho tau Muqadas

BAHI say ho tau Aqeedat

BEHAN say ho tau FARZ

aur

BEWEE say ho tau......................

CUHNUUU
MUNUUUU
GUDUUUU
PAPUUUU
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PATHANS NAMES:
Time-Place-Events

If Born in:

Jungle: SHER KHAN
During Valima: SHADI KHAN
In Summer: SHARBAT KHAN
On a Friday: JUMMA KHAN
In War: BANDUK KHAN
Near a River: DARYA KHAN
Near an Ocean: SAMNDAR KHAN
In a Garden: GUL KHAN
In Rain: BARAN KHAN
On a Bus: MUSAFIR KHAN
with abnormal Feature: AJAB KHAN
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A sardar and frog had an argument:

Frog: Sardar ka damagh nahee hota
Sardar: Oooye Damagh honda hay
Forg : Nahee hota
Sardar: Hota hay
Frog: Nahee hota ...........and jumps in the water

Sardar: Lay dass eday wich Khudkushi wali kairee gal si

__________________
REBEL

@rehman bhai

well well what can i say...... ur posts made me laugh for sooooo... longgg....its tooo muchhh...i really enjoyed all of them esp...last one. ...

take care
regards,

__________________
_____________________________________________

A Man Would Do Nothing,
If He Waited Until He
Could Do It So Well
That No One Would Find Fault
With What He Has Done.

1 frog: tar
2 frog: tar
1 frog: tar
2 frog: tar
1 frog: tar tar
2 frog: topic mut change ker

__________________
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more,
do more and become more, you are a leader
MCS Final Year (Karachi University)

When I fall I need your hands to hold me.
WHen I win I need your hands to pat me.
When I loss I need your hands to console me.
In short, ye hath mujhe de de THAKKUR.

------------------------------------------------------------------------


Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?
Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.
Wife: Kitni mari?
Man: 3 male aur 2 female.
Wife: Kaise malum?
Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se...

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Patient to doc: Aap ke nurse bahut achhi ladki hai,
Uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.

Doctor: Jaanta hu, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.

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Newtons 2nd law of ishq the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increament or decreament of the bank balance

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Bush Offers A Sardar, Tum Hume Usama Do Hum Tumko Titanic Wali Larki Dega,

Sardar: Thik Hai, Hum Tumko Usama Dega Lekin Humko Titanic Wali Larki NAhi Larka Chahiay :-)

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Shaitaan assiciation invites all members for the annual meeting to discuss their annual vacation of Ramzan, so ur attendence as a senior member is required.

__________________
ஜ иστнιπg ιš ιмթΘรรιвlε тσ α ωιℓℓιиg нєαят ஜ

Rs.60/-per day is wasted in smoking,whichcould be used 2 feed a hungry man in india.
so friendz lets keep smoking and keep them hungry!
pakistaaaaaan zindaaabaaad!!!!!

__________________
_____________________________________________

A Man Would Do Nothing,
If He Waited Until He
Could Do It So Well
That No One Would Find Fault
With What He Has Done.