@ Wounded healer & prieti




Sardar: Oye, mere mobile Bill Kitna Hai?
Call Centre Girl: Sir, Just Dial 123 to know ur Current Bill Status.
Sardar: Arey STUPID! Current ka nahi, Mobile ka…

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Hitler to Sardar: "Impossible ka word meri dictionary mein nahi"

Sardar: "Te Ullo-ke-Patthey dictionary dekh ke khareedni thi naa!"

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Sardar : Wo ladki deaf lagti hai. Main kuch kehta hoon, woh kuch aur hi bolti hai.

friend : Kaise?

sardar : Maine kaha I Luv U, To woh boli ?Maine kal hi naye sandal kharide hain?.

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Teacher to sardar say that name 5 animals living in the water?
sardar: frog

Teacher theek hay hor das?

sardar: frog da praah, bhen, piyo,te maa

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Sardar Wife: Kurri jawan ho gaee hai koi changa larka dhoondo 26 saal tak da howay.

Sardarji:: jay agar 26 sall da na milay ta 13 13 de 2 le awaan. . . ?

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Sardar apni GirlFriend ko i love u kehta aur gir jata. I love u kehta aur phir gir jata.

Girl: ye Kya kar rahe ho

Sardar: i m falling in love.

Hitler to Sardar: "Impossible ka word meri dictionary mein nahi"

Sardar: "Te Ullo-ke-Patthey dictionary dekh ke khareedni thi naa!"

A man was just recovering in hospital after being unconscious for a week. His wife was sitting by his side when he woke up.

Man: Honey, you've been by my side when I was in that car crash, you were there when I lost my job, you were present when my parents died, and you were by my side when someone stole all my money from my account... and you know what?

Wife: What?

Man: I think you're bad luck.
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A blond gets on a plane and goes up to first-class.

The flight attendant tells her that she will have to move back; her ticket is not for first class. The blond says, "I'm blond, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to California."

The main flight attendant is brought in and explains that she will have to move.

The blond says, "I'm blond, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to California."

The attendants tell the pilot. He comes in and looks the situation over. He leans over and whispers something to the blond and she gets up immediately and moves out of first class.

The attendants are flabbergasted, "What did you say to her?"

"I just told her that this section of the plane doesn't go to California."
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A SARDAR goes to a museum for the first time and accidentally breaks a statue...........

OFFICER: U have broken a 5000 year old STATUE!!!

SARDAR: Shukar hai!!! Mainu laga nawa sii............

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The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta,
held as a votive, not in vain, for the value
and veracity of such shall one day vindicate
the vigilant and the virtuous.
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2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.

Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case.

Sardar2: Aaho, truck numbar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!

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Ek sardar ka Janaza ja raha tha to sab log nach rahe the kisi ne pucha Log nachte kyu hai?

Ek sardar: Ye PAHELA Sardar hai jo BRAIN TUMER se Mara!

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Sardar Apni Wife Ke Sath Coffee Shop Gaya, hot Coffee order Ki, Coffee Atte Hi wife Se Bola Jaldi Jaldi pee. Wife Boli Kyu?

Sardar Bola Hot coffe Rs. 5 and Cold Coffee Rs. 10.00

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Sardar going with his sister,

Some shouts ?Oye, ,mashoka le ker kahan nikle?

Sardar gets furious & slap him & says?

Oye. mashoka hogi tero. Meri to behan hai?!

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Someone asked from Sardar: What is the meaning of SMS ?

Sardar : Its Means...

S - Sardaro ka

M - Mazaak udane ki

S - Service

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Sardar on cycle hit lady accidently.

The lady said, " break nahi mar sakta tha kya?"

Sardarji replied "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di....."

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A Sardar enters shop & shouts, "Where's my free gift with this oil?"

Shopkeeper: "ISke Saath koi gift nahin hai bhaisaab"

Sard : "Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE "

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Two Sardars were walking together...

Pehla: Oye marr gaye. Meri biwi aur meri premika ek saath aa rahi hain..

Dusra: Oye main bhi yahi bolne wala tha....

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ஜ иστнιπg ιš ιмթΘรรιвlε тσ α ωιℓℓιиg нєαят ஜ

Once a sardar went to a grand electronics store and asked the salesperson

Sardar: What is the price of this television

salesperson: Sorry we dont sell to Sardar's.

Sardar felt disgraced and angrilly walked out.Next time dressed himself as an Englishman (totaly different from his original look) and entered the store and asked the same question

salesperson said: Sorry sir we dont sell to Sardar

Sardar very surprised and annoyed get out of the store

After some days he did the same things camouflaged his real look and entered the store and asked the owner

What is the price of this TV
salesperson said: no sir we dont sell to Sardars

This time Sardar got out of control and quarreled with the owner and asked why did he not sell the tv to Sardars and how he managed to know on all occasions that he is a Sardar


He replied I recognizes you because

The TV you are demanding for is not a TV, it is an OVEN.

Titanic was sinking.

An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.

Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?

Santa: Downwards !


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Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.


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How did Santa tried to kill a bird??

He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.


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Santa: I have swallowed a Kay.

Doctor: When?

Santa: 3 months back!

Doctor: What were you doing till now?

Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.


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Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****. Santa: U r wrong. It's 1394.


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Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister ."


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Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?

Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.


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Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?

Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl .


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A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.

Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.

Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.



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Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!

Santa: Why don't u cook something else? .


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Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?

Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..


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Ultimate answer while changing the job.

Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?

Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where.


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Santa and Banta went for a drive.

Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?

Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!"


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Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously...

Finally, Santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again.


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Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home . The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.

After sometime he calls again: I am coming , earlier I sat on the back seat.


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Memon: Ye KeLa Kaise Dia??

KeLey WaLa: 1Rs

Memon: 60 Paisa ka Deta hai??

KeLe WaLa: 60 Paise mein to sirf ChiLka MiLega.

Memon: Le 40 Paise, ChILka rakh Aur KeLa De..

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A sardar jee was filling out an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns entitled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc. Then he came to the column: SALARY EXPECTED.

''Yes.''

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Sardarji photographer focusing a dead body?s face in a funeral function, suddenly all relatives beat him.

Why?

He said: ?Smile Please !?

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Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.

Wife observes the whole episode

Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this?

Sardar replies: Doc told to check sugar level regularly

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Sardar 2 Salesman, I Need Pink curtains for my computer.
Salesman Sardarji Computer Doesnt Need Curtains.
Sardarji: Oye i have windows installed.

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Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of good.
Sardar : Bad.

Interviewer : Come.
Sardar : Go.

Interviewer : Ugly.
Sardar : Pichlli.

Interviewer : U G L Y?
Sardar : PICHLLY !!!!!!!

Interviewer : Shut Up.
Sardar : Keep Talking.

Interviewer : Get Out.
Sardar : Come In.

Interviewer : Oh my God.
Sardar : Oh my Devil.

Interviewer : U r Rejected.
Sardar : I am Selected. BALLE BALLLE.

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Amitabh Bachchan: In Which State Cauvery flows???
Sardar: Liquid State.

Audience Clapped, Amitabh was stunned,looks behind.All were Sardars.

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ஜ иστнιπg ιš ιмթΘรรιвlε тσ α ωιℓℓιиg нєαят ஜ

aik dafa aik bacha apni maan se poochta hai keh
main kase paida hoa tha. maan ne kaha k beta
main ne aik baray se bartan main mati dal k use
aik konay main rakh diya.kuch arsay baad dekha
to tum thay . bachay ne foran aik bartan uthaya
or us main mati daal k use aik konay main rakh
diya. kuch dinon baad dekha to us main mandak (frog)
tha us nay usay pakarna chaha laikin haath na ata
or uchal k doosri jaga chala jata. akhir tang aa k
bachay ne kaha "dil to chahta hai tujhay goli maar
doon laikin kia karoon tuM meri oulaad hai

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~It is possible to fail in many ways...while to succeed is possible only in one way.~

Be aware of old ladies

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load
of seniors down a highway
when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts,
which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder
again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again
he asks the little old lady,
why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?
"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.

The puzzled driver asks,
"Why do you buy them then?"
The old lady replied,?
"We just love the chocolate around them."

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Every day is an opportunity to be creative.

once a motorist hit a sparrow,the bird got unconcious.the motorist placed the unconcious bird in the cage with bread and water.when the bird woke up.he surprised and screamed!!!
Sulakhain!! Oh Allah i ve killed the motorist.

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~Miss zoologist~