Originally Posted by Malik Iqbal

Man is Architect of his own fortune

In this statement of (OMIT OF) wise man is trying to explain that man himself is responsible for his development ONLY DEVELOPMENT??? ) . Luck has nothing to do with it; it is man MAN'S struggle that counts (IS COUNTED). He designs his own future what he sows today will be harvested in future. So it solely depends upon what he strives for. In order to be successful in life there is a dire need to burn midnight oil. Good planning is also a component of future achievements.

There are WERE people in the history, who belong BELONGED to an ordinary family background. They did not only design their destiny, but also changes CHANGED the course of history. Like, the former United States president Abraham Lincoln, who was a son of slave, he with his planning and efforts managed to break the shackles of slavery. He not only managed to get at the helm of the affairs of his state, but also save SAVED his country from civil war.

People who wait and depend on others have a very small share in future. They get what is left by others. Bill Gates one of the richest and successful businessman was not a wealthy person. He did not wait for a miracle to be happened or depended on others to lend countenance to him. (IS IT NOT BETTER TO WRITE LIKE: He neither waited for miracle to happen nor depended on others to lend countenance to him.) He himself stepped forward and work hard WORKED HARD . Now he has not only say (what does this mean here) in the US, but all over the world. So from the said discussion it is clear that man himself is architect of his own fortune…………………….



Seniors please check and assess me..............

Originally Posted by pearlyS

Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy


Some (Not all) of the suggested corrections have been coloured. Some mistakes are repeating so not all of those have been coloured. You may easily locate the uncoloured with the help of suggested corrections.

Hero & (Better to use 'and' in formal English writing) villain are two characters that never leave us alone because either we are to act like or take side of the one. however,the romanticism that is attached with the word "hero" never fails to charm us & to make us feel greatly attractive toward this word & theme of heroism. Nonetheless,being a hero does come with a price-tag that is not in the pay-range of ordinary souls or we may say that when their is a hero,their is or are tragedies & trials by life_that goes a step beyond to test their mettle. The word 'hero' itself symbolizes the theme of being superior from others.so when we perceive someone as a hero,this is certainly because of something exceptional done by him.This something exceptional may be his courage,bravery,spirit of fight against all odds or any task that an ordinary man may feel too hefty to be undertaken. (No need to add 'to him' here) Thus somewhere we all connect this word hero with some sort of milestone or benchmark which is a must to cross a hurdle or gain a title.
Being a hero or person of unique abilities & achievements is not a piece of cake. Striving to conquer something hitherto invincible or staying impregnable despite volley of teething problems is a constant journey. Those who choose this path are extraordinary souls in ordinary bodies. though this earned them an eternal fame or laurels. however,a hard earned & maintained fame. once a person put on the shoes of a 'hero' after hackneyed struggle another battle ensues. battle to keep one's prestigious position or success.
when we go down the history lane & start glancing over life stories of all great people, we come across unique stories of sufferings,struggles & success. Nelson Mandella & Aung San Suu Kyi are two great names of modern political world.they are heros for their people in their own way. mandella earned this fame after a long fight for the rights of his nation.he suffered imprisonment for 27 years.aung san suu kyi remained under arrest for around 15 years in 20 years.again a persistent stance against trials thrown in by life. thus these long years of battling for the right thing & negating all luxuries offered by self-centredness fetched them the halo of glory.
thus the romanticism the word 'hero' exhibit is not without cost. jealousies, bottlenecks,traps,ploys,conspiracies & what not that come to hinder the path of a hero.it seems life too show it's stiff side before taking a hardworking man into her comforting lap.but after giving him taste of her cozy side,she again turns demanding.life is a teacher that never ceases to take exams & those who claim to be hero,for them life too shows her super skills of erecting barriers & animating nightmares.so,show me a hero & i will write you a tragedy.

please do check

Originally Posted by pearlyS

A human heart is full of desires & quest for everything he covets is in human nature. Nonetheless,desires have strange property that the more they are fulfilled the more they get multiplied. This continuous running after one's desires reduced a man into an unhappy & unsatisfied being who only gets peace after death.
Urge to amass & amplify one's gain is not new & unusual. Competing with fellow humans is not bad in itself but this makes life a machine fueled by one's own peace. This ultimate toll of having countless desires stops when one stops breathing.
When we start entertaining an idea to accomplish something or to achieve something special this peddles us to work hard. When that goal has been achieved,immense joy follows in. The sense of achievement itself propels a man to take further stride. Then comes another goal another cherished dream & wheel of struggle again picks motion. This activity start treading a path that takes away happiness & satisfaction by replacing them with greed & ungratefulness.
As all human beings are or majority of them tends to drift into this endless cycle of desires,dreams & demands. Thus they all somewhere in their heart feel a gap a void that stays unfulfilled or in some cases gets wider.Only after death this void gets filled & peace comes in. Thus it is apt that call no man happy till he is dead because precisely that is the state where he no more feel the need to improve.


total time:30 minutes

kindly check & mark

Originally Posted by usman khalid

Good one! However, try to include some real life examples to supplement your stance.

Originally Posted by pearlyS

other than this what would you suggest me to further enhance my style of writing???

Originally Posted by SADIA SHAFIQ

Show me a hero,I will write you a tragedy


''Do not seek ease in thy journey of life.
Rather explore signs what is ordained for you.
Face thy mishaps with courage ,
like one's slamming towards your corpse.''

It is oft -quoted that ,''life is not a bed of roses''.life is a compound of happiness and sufferings ; you face the sufferings you will be granted with internal rest
(It was better to write like; The more one faces the sufferings the more one is granted with internal rest.) .so ,it manifests itself. Brave persons have undergone a series of misfortunes but they changed the path of their luck with endless efforts.

The one who aims high ,got their destined heaven.(Those who aim high get their destined heaven.) It seems life has choosen (chosen) them in order to examine what they can do . Our beloved Holy prophet (p.b.u.h) experienced cruelties of infidels then (THAN) any other man or prophet . So ,The tragic path of His life has given (GAVE) him a title of ''Rahmat -ul-alameen'' ,and Haider .

Common man has become hero among large masses by converting the miseries of life .This phenomena ( Phenomenon is singular and phenomena is plural.) demands heroic endevour . The up and downs are common in every body's life but what lacks is wit and bravery .Tipo sultan was martyred and named as hero. Because ,he faced misfortunes and even faced death like one who is going to embrace friend .


All men have equal rights but it is History that tells us a different thing . Many of them were assassinated,put behind the bars ,fired but were reluctant to their cause .Their will power ,to face the tragedy of life have (HAS) made them hero.

Storms captured me to weigh my courage,
and you assumed it ,i am in difficulty,
I have beaten thy ruthless waves,
I have made my own destiny,
I am the hero of my own life.

It does not imply that hero is never beaten but the one who has been hard done by life .when the scale of tolerance heightened will power then fate knelt down towards the man like a maid. (Should this sentence be not in present?)

Originally Posted by SADIA SHAFIQ

Show me a hero,I will write you a tragedy

''Do not seek ease in thy journey of life.
Rather explore signs what is ordained for you.
Face thy mishaps with courage ,
like one's slamming towards your corpse.''

It is oft -quoted that ,''life is not a bed of roses''. Life is a compund of happiness and sufferings ;the more you face the sufferings, the more you will be granted with internal rest.so ,it manifests itself (Is it a separate sentence or part of the sentence?) brave persons have undergone a series of misfortunes but they changed the path of their luck with endless efforts.

The one who aims high, get destined heaven. It seems as if life has choosen them in order to examine what they can do . Our beloved Holy prophet (P.B.U.H) experienced cruelities of infidels more than that of any other man or prophet . So ,the tragic path of His life has given him a title of ''Rahmatal-lil-alameen'' ,and Haider . (Actually this doesn't make sense. Why would tragic path give Him this title? ALMIGHTY ALLAH conferred upon Him this title and sent Holy Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) as blessing for the whole universe)

Common man has become hero among large masses by converting the miseries of life (By converting miseries into what?) .This phenomenon demands heroic endeavor . The ups and downs are common in every body's life but what lacks is wit and bravery .Tipo sultan was martyred and named as hero because he (This the same sentence so don't separate two clauses) faced misfortunes and even faced the death as if he was embracing a friend.

All men have equal rights but it is History that tells us a different thing. Many of them were assassinated,put behind the bars ,fired but were reluctant to their cause .Their will power to face (no comma is required here) the tragedy of life have made them hero.

Storms captured me to weigh my courage,
and you assumed it ,i am in difficulty,
I have beaten thy ruthless waves,
I have made my own destiny,
I am the hero of my own life.

It does not imply that hero is never beaten but the one who has been hard done by life . (Meaning is not clearly interpreted, what do you mean by 'hard done by life'?) when the scale of tolerance heightens will power then fate is on its knees towards the man like a maid (Use present tense here)