it throws light on basic instinctive behaviour of humans that if they are constantly kept under adverse situations they learn to evolve and their response to stress just keeps on improving until they come up with the best possible solution.If parents consistently evaluate the performance of their child from every perspective,it is quite natural for a child to put an extra effort even in his/her daily activities to comply with the expectations of his/her parents and most of the times it will result in better outcomes.on the other hand,this constant interference of parents might be taken negatively by the child,compelling him to use unfair means to cheat his/her parents and pushing the child into depths of despair and turning him/her into a social outcast.loads of such examples can be quoted where parents' over expectations caused an irreversible damage to the personality of their children and it gave birth of never ending conflicts spanning over their lifetimes.So,it is quite a sensitive issue which needs to be handled with great care and good strategy.If the parents use this regime wisely it is likely that it will make their child more mentally sound,more skillful and more refined human being.positive criticism,compassion and positive re-enforcement remain the key to shape children into successful persons.

Give your valuable comments and point out the mistakes. Thanks

Umar Bhai Check this expansion, please. As your analysis and comments are worth reading.

CRISIS TESTS THE TRUE METTLE OF A MAN (CSS 2001)

The true worth and power of a man can only be judged when they are surrounded by problems. The brave and optimistic person always tries to find out solution to their problems. However, Pessimistic and cowardice people always fail to address their problems.They get worried and do not try to make the bad situation good. Quad-e-Azam, The founder of Pakistan, was less popular until 1913 when he was the member of congress. When he joined the Muslim league and started to fight for the deprived Muslim of the subcontinent. Foe and friends got to know the true value of this man. He proved himself in the worse crisis of the subcontinent. In the same manner, M.M Alam, Pakistan Air Force officer, proved himself in 1965 Indo-Pak war. It is well-documented fact that when he saw the jet fighter of the enemy, he hit five jet fighters in a minute, and inflicted heavy damages on the enemy. Similarly, if we zoom in the near past we have Russian invasion of Afghanistan where Taliban, when encounter war problem, started jihad against Russia. Despite the fact that Taliban were weak, they compel the Russians to drawdown. In addition, if one have a look on the bitter ties of US-Iran, one can immediately have an idea how Iran withstand the pressure of US. She never bows down on its nuclear issue. This is how people got to know the true mettle of Iran. Conclusively, it is very true that man is judged in crisis. It is very easy to judge whether a person is brave, intellectual, optimistic, or pessimistic when they encounter problems. There can never be two opinions on the fact that crisis test the true mettle of a man. ( Words 288)

Good Effort Sister! Seher I have highlighted some of the mistakes that I identified.

As I have said previously, expansion of an idea is based purely on the imagination of the one who attempts it. But why do you have to involve country, politics or international affairs in a topic that you could have dealth with otherwise. this leaves the door open for two things:

-you may come across a person who does not have the same political or religious views as you have (and nobody is unbiased) and you may get penalized for it.
-You may make a mistake (for example: in your case you used the word Taliban for a group that was called Mujahideen. in fact it was not just one group, but numerous (around 6 major) Mujahideen factions that fought against the Russians. Taliban are a relatively more recent phenomenon).

you should attempt expansions in a more general form. For example:

crisis tests the true mettle of man
-When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
-When the s*** hits the fan, some guys run, some guys stand (Al-Pacino)
-when faced with adversity, some succumb to the pressures and throw in the towel
-Such are the ones, forgotten by history, killed by time
-Others face whatever the destiny throws at them with resolve
-Such are the ones who live on forever in the annals of the history
-Ordinarily, man can wear any mask to hide his true character and mettle.
-he may boast of his bravery, his ambition, his craftsmanship, his cunning
-but, adversity is the true litmus test for the character of men
-During crises, men can no more fake their characters. They are forced to reveal themselves. the are made to exhibit their true mettle
-History is witness to the fact that it is only during crises or adversities, that men of substance rise to the glory that is so envied by the rest of the mankind
-A True man is the one, who, when faced with hardships, resolves to overcome them through shear resolve and strength of character.
-Be it Jinnah or Mandela, Churchill or the famous 300 Spartan warriors against the Persian empire, historians record that all of them achieved the impossible in the face of extreme opposition and adverse conditions. That is the reason why, history applauds them and remembers them.
-It can be safely concluded, that it is only a crisis, that brings out the true mettle of a man!

A very good effort for a start up. I believe the topic was somewhat similar to "strict parents and crafty children" ? please post the original topic. if the topic is similar to what I have posted, then brother/sister you have missed the true spirit of the expansion.

The topic required you to write about the fact that no matter how perfect a system becomes, those who are intelligent enough (and that system does produce intelligent people)_will find loopholes in it or figure out a way to work around it. This is what hacking is. Anyways anybody is entitled to expand it in any way he/she wishes to.

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Umar Abbas Babar
I Know I am Bad But When Bad is the Best, Bad is the Only Choice

yes the topic is suspicious parent makes an artful child.Actually its my first ever attempt.i juz wanted to hav an idea of where m i standing ryt nw..i ll try to improve iA..thank u for ur expert opinion

Thank you so much for your valuable analysis, but one thing always bothers me that how to generalize things?? I have been told we need to put more and more examples to prove the idea. It is hard to give example without political, religious etc touch. Let me know the solution??

Avoid regular use of "Netspeak" or other "cute" grammar or spelling (For example: writing "R U a woman?" instead of "Are You a woman?").

Read and Follow Forum Rules

__________________
Kon Kehta hy k Main Gum-naam ho jaon ga
Main tu aik Baab hn Tareekh mein Likha jaon ga

Check this expansion, please.

It Is Excellent to Have a Giant Strength; but It Is Tyrannical to Use It like A Giant

There are numerous kinds of people around the world; some of them have wealth, power, and authority while others are weak and deprived. Virtually in every religion, it is stressed that gaining power and strength in any field is desirable, but abuse of power is really a sorry state of affairs. In fact, there is one verse in the Holy Quran wherein ALLAH says “O you do not cross your limits, for ALLAH does not like transgressors”. If we look back to the fourteen hundreds years ago when prophet (PBUH) won the Makkah, it can be noticed, despite being powerful, he granted amnesty to all non-Muslim in Makkah and declared that every non-Muslim is safe and free to practice his religion. He did not misuse his power granted by ALLAH. However, at this point of time Israel, a Jewish country, has been misusing its power against suppressed people of Philistine for many years. She has gained strength and modern technology, but this power is being used tyrannically. Similarly, it has been observed that WW-II (Second World War) was the direct result of excessive weaponry power gained by different European countries at that time. Categorically, it would have been better if those technology and advancement were used for the betterment of the people. Sadly, it could not be materialized, and different European power collided with each other in the shape of World War. Now the need of the hours is to spread the awareness among the people that abuse of power only brings deprivation, War, Crimes, and animosity. Conclusively, it is really good to gain strength and power in a fair manner which, ultimately, flourishes the atmosphere of competition, but it is ironic to use such power against the weak, oppressed, or in any other wrong way ( words 297)

First of all, a nice effort.

Coming to part where I need to criticize a bit
One of the most important aspect of creative writing (be it an essay or a an expansion) is the flow of the ideas. For that, every sentence should give a clear message that needs to be coherent with the one proceeding or preceding it.

For example, "If we look back to the fourteen hundreds years ago when prophet (PBUH) won the Makkah, it can be noticed, despite being powerful, he granted amnesty to all non-Muslim in Makkah and declared that every non-Muslim is safe and free to practice his religion". This was the sentence you used.
It was followed by the sentence, "He did not misuse (abuse) his power granted by ALLAH".

Okay you have tried to convey a message. The message, in simple terms, was that Hazrat Muhammad SAW was victorious against the Makkans. Yet he did not take revenge. Although He SAW. and His followers, stood persecuted by them for years, yet he chose to remain merciful, as against the custom of the day. This was so magnanimous of him.

Such supporting sentences would have made your point very clear. If you do not pen down something on paper, do not expect the checker to have understood what you meant to say. For example, what if he were a non-Muslim and does not know about the history of the fall of Makkah? how would he know why it was such a noble act? unless you tell him of the persecution and all, and the way He let them go, your point will not be well defined.

Secondly, always use short sentences. It is very difficult to grammatically manage long sentences.

Thirdly, keep it generic as usual. Quoting examples may be a nice way of expressing your opinion or thought. But don't make it too specific or don't let one example occupy the whole space Anyways commendable effort. Keep on practicing.

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Umar Abbas Babar
I Know I am Bad But When Bad is the Best, Bad is the Only Choice

Seher! Sister I have two points to quote against this particular question:

- Why generalize? You are intending to write this expansion keeping in mind that there will be some sort of audience. That person who will be checking your expansion needs to understand what you want to say. So generalization is important because through this tool you can target the masses/majority/general people!

-Secondly, an example is to aid in your point of view. It is supposed to be augmenting what ever you have tried to prove or stated. First try to state what you want to say. After that give examples. Else what you could do is give examples and then elaborate on your point. But in both the cases they should support some form of argument that was presented on your part.

__________________
Umar Abbas Babar
I Know I am Bad But When Bad is the Best, Bad is the Only Choice

Sir, Thank you so much for your valuable comments, indeed I am learning many things from your response. Let me know what is badly lacking in my writing or what part of english should I focus on??