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  #51  
Old Saturday, June 22, 2019
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saba Arif View Post
Please suggest me corrections and suggestion.

Emerging power of Artificial intelligence


1.Introduction
2.What is Artificial Intelligence?
3.History of Artificial Intelligence
4.Applications of Artificial Intelligence

i.Automated customer service
ii.Advanced search Engines and social networking websites
iii.Advanced healthcare system
iv.Intelligent data collection and processing in Finance
v.Smart cars and drones
vi.Smart phones
vii.Smart home devices
viii.Security and surveillance
ix.Weather forecasting
x.Face and speech recognition and biometric system
xi.Robotics
xii.Automated manufacturing process

5.Conclusion

With the dawn of 21st century world has moved towards new era of intelligent machines. These intelligent machines are capable to do anything that a human can do. Even these machines are more powerful, less prone to errors and fast in doing tasks. They have replaced humans in repetitive, tedious and complex tasks. Intelligent machines can think, perceive process and make decision based on data they retrieve from their surroundings. This is possible because of the artificial intelligence which has revolutionized the world almost in every field. Self-driving cars on road, drones used in defense and surveillance, smart home devices and interactive security system are the blessings of artificial intelligence. Moreover, artificial intelligence can be noted in advanced healthcare system with sophisticated diagnosis and treatment system. Industries are using artificial intelligence to automate their manufacturing process. Businesses are using artificial intelligence for foresee and get intelligent data prominent for success of business. Artificial intelligence in search engines and social networking websites have made swift access to desired data and people at anytime. Automatic customer support with the help of artificial intelligence has made more trustable services to customers. Artificial intelligence is being used in advertisement to provide ads relevant to users based on their interests and locations. Speech recognition, face recognition and biometric system have made people identifiable. Artificial intelligence in satellites has connected people worldwide and provided access to outer space information.

Please suggest me corrections and suggestion.
Don't write definition and history of AI.

Your outlines, most of the times, deviate from the topic. I am no expert to help you with outline. Get your outlines checked by any CSP. I am striving to learn the art of writing the correct outline myself. It is most challenging task in Essay writing.

I have read your Introduction. I think Introduction in incorrect. However, as I mentioned before, I am not an expert; therefore, I am not going to focus on it. Instead, I have pointed out a few grammatical mistakes.

capable to do = capable of doing

Even these machines are more powerful, = These machines are even more powerful than man

for foresee = to foresee

have made swift access = has made access swift

more trustable services = service more trustable

is being used = is used

Hope it helps.

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  #52  
Old Saturday, June 22, 2019
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Innocent Hafeez View Post
My thoughts
I dont think that there is any wrong with outline and intro but some mistakes i have noted:
1. With the dawn of 21st century, the world has moved towards a new era of
2.Businesses are using artificial intelligence for foreseeing and getting intelligent data prominent for success of business.
3. Also, use connectors like besides, and, additionally, also, similarly. Without them, your inro seems irregular etc
i hope you understand.
I agreed with @Innocent Hafeez
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aamish Bhatti View Post
Don't write definition and history of AI.

Your outlines, most of the times, deviate from the topic. I am no expert to help you with outline. Get your outlines checked by any CSP. I am striving to learn the art of writing the correct outline myself. It is most challenging task in Essay writing.

I have read your Introduction. I think Introduction in incorrect. However, as I mentioned before, I am not an expert; therefore, I am not going to focus on it. Instead, I have pointed out a few grammatical mistakes.

capable to do = capable of doing

Even these machines are more powerful, = These machines are even more powerful than man

for foresee = to foresee

have made swift access = has made access swift

more trustable services = service more trustable

is being used = is used

Hope it helps.

Sent from my vivo 1808 using Tapatalk
@Aamish_Bhatti I don't think your suggestions are valid. I think you need to learn more. So please don't misguide her.
@Saba_arif you are going good. Keep it up. You have impressive writing skills and your outline and introduction are up to mark.
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Saba Arif (Saturday, June 22, 2019)
  #53  
Old Monday, June 24, 2019
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Gender equality is a myth.

Introduction: There is no denying the fact that gender equality is a myth because women are never as equal as men. In a male-dominated society like ours, women are not given their fundamental rights. To some extent, women enjoy their rights in urban areas but they are drprived of their basic rights in rural areas. This is not only in Pakistan but also in most of the third world countries that women are considered as weaker sex. Moreover, women are not given their socio-economic rights. They have been economically dependent on men. Similarly, women's rights are not protected in Pakistan as well. This is mainly because of lack of female education and conservative mindset of the people. Religious misinterpretation, domestic violence and early marriages are more factors responsible for gender inequality. The previous governments in our country tried their level best to provide better opportunities for women empowerment but failed unfortunately. Various laws have been made to protect women right but their implementation became a big question. Someone has rightly said, "The hand that rockes the cradle is the hand that rules the world". If women are not given priority based consideration, it will be dreadful for our country. Empowering women will make our country prosper and progressive in the world.
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  #54  
Old Monday, June 24, 2019
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zAIN UL ABDIN CHANG View Post
Gender equality is a myth.

Introduction: There is no denying the fact that gender equality is a myth because women are never as equal as men. In a male-dominated society like ours, women are not given their fundamental rights. To some extent, women enjoy their rights in urban areas but they are deprived of their basic rights in rural areas. This is not only in Pakistan but also in most of the third world countries that women are considered as weaker sex. Moreover, women are not given their socio-economic rights. They have been economically dependent on men. Similarly, women's rights are not protected in Pakistan as well. This is mainly because of lack of female education and conservative mindset of the people. Religious misinterpretation, domestic violence and early marriages are more factors responsible for gender inequality. The previous governments in our country tried their level best to provide better opportunities for women empowerment but failed unfortunately. Various laws have been made to protect women right but their implementation became a big question. Someone has rightly said, "The hand that rockes the cradle is the hand that rules the world". If women are not given priority based consideration, it will be dreadful for our country. Empowering women will make our country prosper and progressive in the world.
Great effort Zain. This piece of writing determines the improvements in your expressions.
There are some issues as well you need to work on.
1-Your first line of introduction, "There is no denying the fact that gender equality is a myth because women are never as equal as men".....You can write it as follows,
"It goes without saying that gender equality is myth because men and women have great difference in their standards of living despite living together since centuries".
2- Don't use "ours", "We" in essay. Write generally.
3- The sentence "This is not only in Pakistan but also in most of the third world countries that women are considered as weaker sex". can be written as
"This is not the case with Pakistan merely, it is equally true of third world nations where female are not treated equally"
4- "Religious misinterpretation, domestic violence and early marriages are more factors responsible for gender inequality." Don't use more. You can use primary factors instead.
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  #55  
Old Tuesday, June 25, 2019
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Default Please check my attempt

Respect for diversity can lead to unity in nation (Essay paper PMS- 2019)
1. Introduction
Thesis statement: maintenance of diversity helps establish unity in nation.
2. Defining the concept
3. Scope of diversity
3.1 Its scope in the light of Islam
3.2 Its scope in the light of UN Charter
3.3 diversity and constitution of Pakistan
4. Different diverse groups present in nation
4.1 linguistic and cultural groups
4.2 various ethnicities
4.3 religious and sectarian groups
4.4 several political parties with dissent ideology
5. Respect for diversity can lead to unity in nation because:
5.1 diversity promotes equality of diverse groups
5.2 diversity strengthens centre-province relations
5.3 diversity leads to innovation in the different fields
5.4 diversity ensures human rights
5.5 diversity empowers women
5.6 diversity helps the survival of endangered languages and cultures
5.7 diversity promotes peace and tolerance in nation
6. Conclusion.

Essay

Diversity plays a crucial role in building any nation. The presence of various forms of creatures shows that diversity is the core of nature. Its scope is obvious from the fact that Islam values it for national integration by emphasizing equality of all people. The UN Charter makes it obligatory on nations to preserve this natural principle. Several constitutional obligations in the Constitution of Pakistan also champion for respect of diversity to ensure a united nation. Diversity in a nation is promoted through different groups. Its maintenance in the country is necessary to eliminate discrimination. It strengthens centre-province relations by ensure provincial autonomy. Through diverse ideas, it develops creativity in the various sectors of the state. In addition to this, it ensures human rights, and empowers women to strengthen the nation. By preserving endangered languages and cultures, it also curtails the shrinking role of the oppressed in national development. Besides, it helps shape inclusive policies that lead to a peaceful and tolerant nation.

Note: I have spent two days in making outline and intro. Still, i think some changes are required. Please analyze it and be free to criticize.
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  #56  
Old Tuesday, June 25, 2019
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Default Evaluation of Respect for diversity can lead to unity in nation (Essay paper PMS- 201

Quote:
Originally Posted by Innocent Hafeez View Post
Respect for diversity can lead to unity in nation (Essay paper PMS- 2019)
1. Introduction
Thesis statement: maintenance of diversity helps establish unity in nation.
2. Defining the concept
3. Scope of diversity
3.1 Its scope in the light of Islam
3.2 Its scope in the light of UN Charter
3.3 diversity and constitution of Pakistan
4. Different diverse groups present in nation
4.1 linguistic and cultural groups
4.2 various ethnicities
4.3 religious and sectarian groups
4.4 several political parties with dissent ideology
5. Respect for diversity can lead to unity in nation because:
5.1 diversity promotes equality of diverse groups
5.2 diversity strengthens centre-province relations
5.3 diversity leads to innovation in the different fields
5.4 diversity ensures human rights
5.5 diversity empowers women
5.6 diversity helps the survival of endangered languages and cultures
5.7 diversity promotes peace and tolerance in nation
6. Conclusion.

Essay

Diversity plays a crucial role in building any nation. The presence of various forms of creatures shows that diversity is the core of nature. Its scope is obvious from the fact that Islam values it for national integration by emphasizing equality of all people. The UN Charter makes it obligatory on nations to preserve this natural principle. Several constitutional obligations in the Constitution of Pakistan also champion for respect of diversity to ensure a united nation. Diversity in a nation is promoted through different groups. Its maintenance in the country is necessary to eliminate discrimination. It strengthens centre-province relations by ensure provincial autonomy. Through diverse ideas, it develops creativity in the various sectors of the state. In addition to this, it ensures human rights, and empowers women to strengthen the nation. By preserving endangered languages and cultures, it also curtails the shrinking role of the oppressed in national development. Besides, it helps shape inclusive policies that lead to a peaceful and tolerant nation.

Note: I have spent two days in making outline and intro. Still, i think some changes are required. Please analyze it and be free to criticize.
My opinions:
1- I appreciate your hard work. Keep it up. You will get soon what you need.
2- To me, it seems that you have been diverted from main theme of this topic to some extent but not completely.
Diversity means a characteristic or phenomenon of society in which different types of people live together. They can be of different religions, ethnicity, communities, race, or beliefs. So if we respect this diversity then it can lead to national building. You need to prove it how. I am giving you some examples, respect every group in the society and it will bring closeness and belongingness among people. If all groups are treated equally it can remove conflicts and discrimination among groups. You have mentioned some points and that is good. But you need to expand it more.
3- Don't include history. Be relevant to topic.
4- don't include scope of diversity.
5- You just need to prove statement "Respect for diversity can lead to unity in nation"

I hope this will help you.
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  #57  
Old Tuesday, June 25, 2019
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saba Arif View Post
My opinions:
1- I appreciate your hard work. Keep it up. You will get soon what you need.
2- To me, it seems that you have been diverted from main theme of this topic to some extent but not completely.
Diversity means a characteristic or phenomenon of society in which different types of people live together. They can be of different religions, ethnicity, communities, race, or beliefs. So if we respect this diversity then it can lead to national building. You need to prove it how. I am giving you some examples, respect every group in the society and it will bring closeness and belongingness among people. If all groups are treated equally it can remove conflicts and discrimination among groups. You have mentioned some points and that is good. But you need to expand it more.
3- Don't include history. Be relevant to topic.
4- don't include scope of diversity.
5- You just need to prove statement "Respect for diversity can lead to unity in nation"

I hope this will help you.
Thanks for your analysis. Yes your suggestions are helpful
I will omit scope part. But, at point 5 i have used "because" so it means i will prove my point in the body portion of the essay. I have given a brief description of it in intro. For exampe, i have said diversity strenghtens centre-province relations. But how? through provincial autonomy. It is just intro, i will extend this point further in the body with examples. I hope i have justified my self.
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  #58  
Old Tuesday, June 25, 2019
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Default democracy and illiteracy do not go together.

can anybody share outline of this essay?
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  #59  
Old Tuesday, June 25, 2019
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Default democracy and illiteracy do not go together.

Democracy ANd illiteracy do not go together.

Introduction
I) illiteracy leads to mass poverty which deters democracy.
2) illiterate societies are engulfed in the feudal system and caste system which is against the principle of democracy.
3) illiterate societies deny women their right to vote. This is against the norm of democracy.
4) least focus on human development by political leaders is also against the value of democracy.
5) Absence of knowledge about constitutional rights and duties among illiterate masses also lead to the decline of democracy.
6) Media plays a role as an agenda setter in illiterate society. this also deters democracy.
7 the elements of religious extremism is High in illiterate societies which also leads to the decline of democracy.
8) the elements of accountability and transparency are least followed. This lead towards corruption. Resultantly, deters democracy.
Conclusion.
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  #60  
Old Tuesday, June 25, 2019
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Default Review this fellow aspirants.

Climate change: A myth or reality

1. Introduction.
2. What is Climate change?
3. Climate change: a reality, how:
a. Rise in global temperature.
b. Extreme weather conditions.
c. Changing weather patterns.
d. Warming oceans.

4. Causes of climate change:
a. Fossil fuel burning.
b. Industrialization.
c. Transportation.
d. De-forestation.

5. Impacts of climate change:
a. Agricultural devastation.
b. Food insecurity.
c. Glacial meltdown
d. Extinction of species.

6. Remedial measures:
a. Reducing emissions.
b. Reforestation.
c. Educate farmers.
d. Shift of approach:Reactive to proactive.

7. Conclusion.

Changing climate is serious threat to the world than any other threat that existed before. Although, it is a natural phenomenon that reoccur after centuries. The climate change today is nothing but a human induced phenomenon. Therefore, 'climate change is a reality.' It no longer remains a myth in the history. One can present such an argument on the grounds of rising global temperature, extreme weather, changing seasonal patterns. However, considering the causes, it is caused by burning fossil fuels, industrialization and deforestation, to name a few. As said, climate change is a threat, therefore, it devastate agriculture, engenders food insecurity, glacial meltdown and manifest other impacts. Thus, it can be mitigated by reducing Green house gases emissions, planting more trees, educating farmers and shifting approach.

Criticism is welcomed.
Thanks!
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