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  #81  
Old Thursday, June 27, 2019
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Originally Posted by Saba Arif View Post
@The_dream_of_rain and @innocent_hafeez
How will you make conclusion of this essay?

According to me, conclusion should include positive points and suggestions only.

1 Pakistan is a young democracy and demcracy revived since last decade after the termination of Musharraf regime.
2 Democracy will take some time to flourish as in developed countries it took decades to completely known in these countries.
3- Mention some hurdles in summarized way.
4- Now suggestion:- Need political will and everyone needs to play individual and collective role to secure democratic Pakistan. (It can be expanded)
4-Days are close when democracy will enshrine in the land of Pakistan and become fate of it(Ending sentence should be like this)
Conclusion is the closure of the discussion that u have done in an essay. It should not include anything external. Therefore, my above essay doesn't include solutions. Thus, solutions can't be mentioned.
Though, you are right that conclusion must have positive points and ending. Plus, you are right that hurdles will be mentioned in summary.
I have written this essay. If members need I'll post conclusion.
Hope it helps.
P.S. all members are requested to review others essay. Like the above someone's: "let there be lights more lights...."
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  #82  
Old Thursday, June 27, 2019
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saba Arif View Post
Length of thesis statement:
As far as I know, the length of thesis statement should be 1 to 2 lines only.

Placement of thesis statement:
You can write thesis statement anywhere in the introduction. You can write in start, in the middle or at the end. It depends on the nature of essay. Thesis statement mostly placed in the start of introduction.

Identification of thesis statement:
Thesis statement is self-explanatory statement on a topic. It defines your stance or approach on a topic. Examiner can easily pick it.

Thesis statement of "Pollution":
Pollution is a global phenomenon caused by the direct and indirect actions of humans and it has adverse effect on echo system or global environment.

Hope this will help you.
Thank you Saba! I will contact you soon after completing my essay on Pollution. May you be blessed.
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  #83  
Old Friday, June 28, 2019
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Default Kindly review my attempt.

Dear members,
I have made an outline of this (following) essay. Kindly review and share you opinions. Besides, intensively pointing mistakes.
Thanks

Gender equality is a myth or reality


1. Introduction
2. Gender equality is a myth; how:
3. Abysmal status of women:

a. Under-nourished
b. Under-educated
c. Under-paid
d. Unacknowledged
e. Undocumented for labor
f. Lack access to social services
g. Lack access to financial services
h. Vulnerable to violence

4. Different roles of women:
a. Women as a care-giver
b. Women as a educator
c. Women as a society developer
d. Women as a nation builder
e. Women as a farmer
f. Women as a labor force
g. Women as a entrepreneur

5. Women's comparative analysis with men: proof of the inequality
6. Conclusion.
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  #84  
Old Friday, June 28, 2019
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Default Gender equality is a myth or reality- Feedback

Quote:
Originally Posted by The dream of rain View Post
Dear members,
I have made an outline of this (following) essay. Kindly review and share you opinions. Besides, intensively pointing mistakes.
Thanks

Gender equality is a myth or reality


1. Introduction
2. Gender equality is a myth; how:
3. Abysmal status of women:

a. Under-nourished
b. Under-educated
c. Under-paid
d. Unacknowledged
e. Undocumented for labor
f. Lack access to social services
g. Lack access to financial services
h. Vulnerable to violence

4. Different roles of women:
a. Women as a care-giver
b. Women as a educator
c. Women as a society developer
d. Women as a nation builder
e. Women as a farmer
f. Women as a labor force
g. Women as a entrepreneur

5. Women's comparative analysis with men: proof of the inequality
6. Conclusion.
My Opinion:
Great outline.
1- You don't need to write, "Gender equality is a myth; how:". Just merge this item of outline into items number 3 by adding "Gender equality is myth because:"
2-Try to write thesis statement as well. Your thesis statement will tell your stance on a topic.
3- Outline should be self-explanatory. You have used one-word items in the outline such as "Unacknowledged". It is not making any sense. You must make outline in the way that it should be comprehensible by the first look. You can use words like, "Lower literacy rate of women across the globe" instead of "Under-educated".

I hope this will make sense.
Thanks
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  #85  
Old Friday, June 28, 2019
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saba Arif View Post
My Opinion:
Great outline.
1- You don't need to write, "Gender equality is a myth; how:". Just merge this item of outline into items number 3 by adding "Gender equality is myth because:"
2-Try to write thesis statement as well. Your thesis statement will tell your stance on a topic.
3- Outline should be self-explanatory. You have used one-word items in the outline such as "Unacknowledged". It is not making any sense. You must make outline in the way that it should be comprehensible by the first look. You can use words like, "Lower literacy rate of women across the globe" instead of "Under-educated".

I hope this will make sense.
Thanks
Thanks, your reviews are appreciated.
The 1 and 3 points you have raised are considerable and convincing. The outline needs modification.
The point 2 is an aspirant's personal choice. Some like to write thesis statement in the outline, some don't. I am from the latter ones.

P.S. @SabaArif I'm not into women-related essays, though u asked for "thesis statement" about the topic. So i gave it a try making outline in 30 mins.
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  #86  
Old Saturday, June 29, 2019
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Default Interested?

Anyone interested in cracking following literary essays? We should make outline of the following literary essays and post in the thread.


1. If gold rusts what shall iron do?
2. Can meaning be fixed?
3. Great nations win without fighting.
4. Post-modern ethos - a challenge to the West.
5. Modernity is an unending process.
6. Life without change moreover is no life, but why one should not chose the safe haven of conformism?
7. All recorded history is Contemporaneous.
8. Ideologies thrive on the notion of resistance, yet change is a simulation.
9. Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
10. Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
11. I disapprove of what you say, but I defend to death your right to say it.
12. Luxury of predecessors becomes the necessity of successors.
13. Art for Peace.
14. Truth is lived, not taught.
15. Sometime we do not see, what we see.
16. Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.
17. Beware the barrenness of a busy life!
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  #87  
Old Saturday, June 29, 2019
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The dream of rain View Post
Anyone interested in cracking following literary essays? We should make outline of the following literary essays and post in the thread.

1. If gold rusts what shall iron do?
2. Can meaning be fixed?
3. Great nations win without fighting.
4. Post-modern ethos - a challenge to the West.
5. Modernity is an unending process.
6. Life without change moreover is no life, but why one should not chose the safe haven of conformism?
7. All recorded history is Contemporaneous.
8. Ideologies thrive on the notion of resistance, yet change is a simulation.
9. Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
10. Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
11. I disapprove of what you say, but I defend to death your right to say it.
12. Luxury of predecessors becomes the necessity of successors.
13. Art for Peace.
14. Truth is lived, not taught.
15. Sometime we do not see, what we see.
16. Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.
17. Beware the barrenness of a busy life!
These are mostly philosophical essays and someone started a thread to target these specifically a little while ago though it didn't catch on. I have a few arguments prepared for most of these and I'll try and organize them into a comprehensive outline. The main challenge in these is not necessarily factual based argumentation but interpretation.
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  #88  
Old Saturday, June 29, 2019
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aishalam View Post
These are mostly philosophical essays and someone started a thread to target these specifically a little while ago though it didn't catch on. I have a few arguments prepared for most of these and I'll try and organize them into a comprehensive outline. The main challenge in these is not necessarily factual based argumentation but interpretation.
That "someone" was you, who started a thread. I wont take credits bcz these were copied from your thread.
I really want to begin such essays. So post your outlines avoiding Nay-Sayers. Just post and let the members review. I'll post soon too.
Plus, you are right interpretation is a challenge not argumentation.
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  #89  
Old Saturday, June 29, 2019
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The dream of rain View Post
That "someone" was you, who started a thread. I wont take credits bcz these were copied from your thread.
I really want to begin such essays. So post your outlines avoiding Nay-Sayers. Just post and let the members review. I'll post soon too.
Plus, you are right interpretation is a challenge not argumentation.
I didn't start it but did compile the topics. No one ever replied again. Anyway glad to see that this thread is active. I'll try to carve out some time soon to write out the outlines. Looking forward to reading yours as well.
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  #90  
Old Sunday, June 30, 2019
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Voilence is the last refuge of the Incompetent

1. Introduction
2. Psychological underpinnings of voilence being the last resort of an incompetent individual:
a. The Dunning–Kruger effect
b. The fight or flight response
c. McClealland's Need theory/The Three Needs Theory-a Need for power and control
d. Satisfaction vs. Reprecussions-cost/benefit
e. The "warrior" gene- Behavioural tendencies and Personality
3. Philosophical link between incompetennce and voilence:
a.Thomas Hobbes and the State of Nature
b. Machiavelli and The Prince
c. David Hume and the basis of Human Nature
d. The Peter Principle and inevitable human incompetence
e. Does the end justify the means?
4. Political/Power viewpoint:
a.The powerful seek to hold on to their power. To cover up their incompetence, they will resort to voilence especially if it is a Dictorial or an Illegitimate group
i-Stalin and the Great Purges of Russia
ii- Al-Burhan and the Sudanese Protests*
iii-American Mafias and The Castellammarese War
iv-Indian authorities and voilence in Kashmir
v-Robert Mugabe and the Gukurahundi genocide
b. Revoltions have failed in the past because instead of negotiating and engaging in dialogue, unnecessary voilence was the chosen route.
i- The churi chura incidence and the fate of the Khalifat movement
ii- The Christian massacres and the failed Boxer Revolution
5. The way forward:
a. Nurturing curious and critical-thinking individuals through education reforms and outreach
b. Opening up channels for dialogue and debates at personal, national and international levels
c. Promoting globalisation and a global interconnectedness
d. Reducing tolernace for Voilence and Abuse by legislating and enforcing laws against offenders
e. Inculcating virtues like Tolerance and Self-Assessment to reduce liklihood of voilence becoming a preferred response
f. Providing platforms and opportunities for all individuals to learn and grow without judgement in order to overcome precieved or actual incompetence
6. Conclusion
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The Following User Says Thank You to aishalam For This Useful Post:
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