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  #91  
Old Monday, August 13, 2012
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Originally Posted by Da Skeptic View Post
میرے عزیز ! گرچہ کوشش اچھی ہے مگر پہلا مصرع اور دوسرا مصرع وزن میں برابر نہیں ہیں۔ نظر ِ ثانی کی ضرورت ہے۔
Thank you very much for your criticism. I will certainly take it positively. However, I just got reminded of a saying of Lord Byron about Keats "He didn't die of Tuberculosis but of a broken heart." Just a saying

Thanks again

@ Farrah Zafar

Thanks for appreciation.

Regards
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  #92  
Old Tuesday, August 14, 2012
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Originally Posted by courageneverdies View Post
Thank you very much for your criticism. I will certainly take it positively. However, I just got reminded of a saying of Lord Byron about Keats "He didn't die of Tuberculosis but of a broken heart." Just a saying

Thanks again

@ Farrah Zafar

Thanks for appreciation.

Regards
Oh cm on dear.. It never meant for discouraging you, nor for boasting my own knowledge of poetry.. A true friend always shows you mirror so that you could observe your mistakes and faults and correct yourself.. It was a hundred percent positive criticism.. I really wanted to say that you can write it in a much better way..
تندی ِ باد ِ مخالف سے نہ گھبرا اے عقاب
یہ تو چلتی ہے تجھے اونچا اڑانے کے لیے
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  #93  
Old Tuesday, August 14, 2012
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Originally Posted by Da Skeptic View Post
Oh cm on dear.. It never meant for discouraging you, nor for boasting my own knowledge of poetry.. A true friend always shows you mirror so that you could observe your mistakes and faults and correct yourself.. It was a hundred percent positive criticism.. I really wanted to say that you can write it in a much better way..
تندی ِ باد ِ مخالف سے نہ گھبرا اے عقاب
یہ تو چلتی ہے تجھے اونچا اڑانے کے لیے
Not at all bro. I know and as I already said I appreciate your positive criticism, which undoubtedly is for good. I am thankful to you, really.

Regards
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  #94  
Old Tuesday, August 14, 2012
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زہر ِ نظر غزل میری اپنی ہے۔

درد کے سلسلے زیست پر چھا گئے
پھول اپنی امیدوں کے مرجھا گئے

تھا جُنوں کا سفر دائرے کا سفر
ہم جہاں سے چلے تھے وہیں آگئے

عشق، امید، چاہت، وفا، زندگی
کتنے چہرے شب ِ ہجر کملا گئے

اک تقاضائے دل تھا، سو رسوا ہوا
خوب ہم چاہتوں کا صلہ پا گئے

وہ، کہ جھیلے ہیں صد عاشقوں کا جنوں
ہم، کہ اپنے جنوں سے ہی گھبرا گئے

سفیر حسین صفیؔ
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  #95  
Old Saturday, August 18, 2012
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محبت آگ ہے ایسی
کہ جتنا بھی جلے کوئی
یہ اس کو آس دیتی ہے
دلوں کو پیاسا رکھتی ہے
محبت ان ارادوں کا
حسیں اک نام ہے شاید
کہ دل بھول کر جن کو
ھمیشہ یاد رکھتا ھے
محبت سوچ کا محور
محبت درد کا درماں
محبت خرد کی صورت
محبت جوش کا ساماں
محبت پھول کا حصہ
کہ خوشبو نام ہے جسکا
جو دیکھی جا نہیں سکتی
مگر محسوس ھوتی ہے
ھمیں معمور کرتی ہے

مگر جو بھی کہو اس کو
محبت کی ہے یہ تاثیر
کہ برباد کرتی ہے
سدا برباد رکھتی ہے
سفر زندگی میں یہ کبھی بڑھنے نھیں دیتی

اور قصے، داستانوں میں
جو دیکھو گے تو پاؤ گے
محبت ہیر کی حسرت
مجنوں کا پاگل پن
محبت تیشہ فرھاد

محبت کا مجھے بس نام ہے یہ یاد
محبت ذہر قاتل، مجرب دام صیاد
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  #96  
Old Saturday, August 18, 2012
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Originally Posted by Da Skeptic View Post


تھا جُنوں کا سفر دائرے کا سفر
ہم جہاں سے چلے تھے وہیں آگئے

سفیر حسین صفیؔ
Junu'n ka safar dayiray ka safar !

Bohat khoob sher !

Quote:
Originally Posted by courageneverdies View Post
محبت آگ ہے ایسی
کہ جتنا بھی جلے کوئی
یہ اس کو آس دیتی ہے
دلوں کو پیاسا رکھتی ہے
محبت ان ارادوں کا
حسیں اک نام ہے شاید
کہ دل بھول کر جن کو
ھمیشہ یاد رکھتا ھے
محبت سوچ کا محور
محبت درد کا درماں
محبت خرد کی صورت
محبت جوش کا ساماں
محبت پھول کا حصہ
کہ خوشبو نام ہے جسکا
جو دیکھی جا نہیں سکتی
مگر محسوس ھوتی ہے
ھمیں معمور کرتی ہے

مگر جو بھی کہو اس کو
محبت کی ہے یہ تاثیر
کہ برباد کرتی ہے
سدا برباد رکھتی ہے
سفر زندگی میں یہ کبھی بڑھنے نھیں دیتی

اور قصے، داستانوں میں
جو دیکھو گے تو پاؤ گے
محبت ہیر کی حسرت
مجنوں کا پاگل پن
محبت تیشہ فرھاد

محبت کا مجھے بس نام ہے یہ یاد
محبت ذہر قاتل، مجرب دام صیاد
Achi kaawish hai Likhtay rahyeye !

Shayir ka naam ?
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Quitters never win and Winners never quit..!!!
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  #97  
Old Saturday, August 18, 2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Farrah Zafar View Post
Junu'n ka safar dayiray ka safar !

Bohat khoob sher !
Aadaab.. Shukriya..

Quote:
Originally Posted by courageneverdies View Post
محبت آگ ہے ایسی
کہ جتنا بھی جلے کوئی
یہ اس کو آس دیتی ہے
دلوں کو پیاسا رکھتی ہے
محبت ان ارادوں کا
حسیں اک نام ہے شاید
کہ دل بھول کر جن کو
ھمیشہ یاد رکھتا ھے
محبت سوچ کا محور
محبت درد کا درماں
محبت خرد کی صورت
محبت جوش کا ساماں
محبت پھول کا حصہ
کہ خوشبو نام ہے جسکا
جو دیکھی جا نہیں سکتی
مگر محسوس ھوتی ہے
ھمیں معمور کرتی ہے

مگر جو بھی کہو اس کو
محبت کی ہے یہ تاثیر
کہ برباد کرتی ہے
سدا برباد رکھتی ہے
سفر زندگی میں یہ کبھی بڑھنے نھیں دیتی

اور قصے، داستانوں میں
جو دیکھو گے تو پاؤ گے
محبت ہیر کی حسرت
مجنوں کا پاگل پن
محبت تیشہ فرھاد

محبت کا مجھے بس نام ہے یہ یاد
محبت ذہر قاتل، مجرب دام صیاد
Dost, achi kaavish he.. Khayaal boht ache hain aur alfaz bhi.. Kuch wazn k hawale se thori boht technical mistakes hain, ummeed he ap jald hi un pr qabu pa lenge..
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  #98  
Old Sunday, August 19, 2012
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کتنے سجدے تھے جبین ِ پاک میں
تھے عجب جذبے دل ِ بے باک میں

آسماں سے کیوں برستا ہے لہو
خون روئے ہے کوئی افلاک میں؟

زندگی کیا ہے، فقط تنکوں کا ڈھیر
آگ سلگا ان خس و خاشاک میں

یوں فریب ِ زندگی ، واعظ ! نہ دے
ہم کہاں ہیں قصہ لولاک میں

تم نے بھی کوئی کسر رکھی نہیں
چھید کیا کم تھے میری پوشاک میں؟

خاک ہے آغاز اور انجام جب
کیوں نہ خود، خود کو ملا دیں خاک میں

زیست کر دی ترک اب میں نے سفیرؔ
کیا خبر کتنے الم ہوں تاک میں

سفیر حسین صفیؔ ، سکردو بلتستان
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  #99  
Old Friday, August 24, 2012
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Smile => Meri Tanhaiii

~ Meri Tanhai~



Aatey ho tum mere khawab mein roshni ki tarah
Jese aasman mein chamakte sitare ki tarah ,

Jab pher dia mu tum ne oron ki tarah,
Beh gaye ashk mere sehlab ki tarah,

Kabhi ao mujh se karo piyar ki baatein,
Ya ab b naraz ho hamesha ki tarah,

Ranj-o-Alm,Gilha-Shikwa,koi shikayat nai tumse,
Bas aik baar pukaro mujhe pehle ki tarah,

Janta hun atey nahi wapis jaaney waley,
Magar ab b piyar hai tumse Saagar ki tarah,

Na raha ab woh bazm-e-mehfil ka mahol,
Jis tarah hoti thi dil ki baatein afsaane ki tarah,

Shab ko aya milne tere kehne se,
Jalta raha raat saari parwane ki tarah,

Kuch aisa raha tanha “Z” tere jaaney se,
Jesey Dasht mein tanha Qais ki tarah .

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  #100  
Old Sunday, August 26, 2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~BraveHeart~ View Post
~ Meri Tanhai~



Aatey ho tum mere khawab mein roshni ki tarah
Jese aasman mein chamakte sitare ki tarah ,

Jab pher dia mu tum ne oron ki tarah,
Beh gaye ashk mere sehlab ki tarah,

Kabhi ao mujh se karo piyar ki baatein,
Ya ab b naraz ho hamesha ki tarah,

Ranj-o-Alm,Gilha-Shikwa,koi shikayat nai tumse,
Bas aik baar pukaro mujhe pehle ki tarah,

Janta hun atey nahi wapis jaaney waley,
Magar ab b piyar hai tumse Saagar ki tarah,

Na raha ab woh bazm-e-mehfil ka mahol,
Jis tarah hoti thi dil ki baatein afsaane ki tarah,

Shab ko aya milne tere kehne se,
Jalta raha raat saari parwane ki tarah,

Kuch aisa raha tanha “Z” tere jaaney se,
Jesey Dasht mein tanha Qais ki tarah .

Bhai yeh "Bazam-e-Mehfil" kaun sa lafz hy.... Bazam ka matlab e Mehfil hota hy

ap "Bazam-e-Yar" likh sakte ho"Bazm-e-Naz" likh sakte ho ya "Koocha-e-Jana" ya "Koocha-e-Yar" likh sakte apnay mehboob ki gali ya mehfil ko....

baqi apke khailaat achay hyn lakin WAZAN ki bohat kaami hy.... Radeef Kafia ka bhi khayal rakhana ghazal main bohat zaroori hy jo aap ne bilkul b nai rakha hy.... dil pay mat laina mujhe ADBI LOGON se muhabbat hy aur main chahat hun apki shari main NIKHAR aye aur humein kuch acha parhnay ko milay jo dil ko choo jaye......
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